The Eating Disorder Whack-a-Mole Game
Let's face it - sometimes when you're dealing with an eating disorder,
dealing with the behaviors is a lot like trying to smack those moles that
pop up in carnival games. *BAM!* Got that one... but there's another one
over there and you can't quite get him in time. And, while you're mad
at yourself for missing mole #2, there's mole #3 grinning malevolently
from a hole a few spaces away.
I believe that each time you experience an eating disorder behavior, it
is an opportunity to explore and deal with what is really eating you.
What is an eating disorder behavior? Does it mean I have an eating disorder
if you do one of these behaviors?
Many people who hear the words "Eating Disorder" think Anorexia
and Bulimia. However, there are many other eating disorders out there.
There is Compulsive Eating, Emotional Eating, Binge Eating, Over Exercising,
Exercise Resistance, Night Eating Syndrome, Body Dysmorphic Disorder,
Orthorexia Nervosa, and Bigorexia. (For further explanation of these,
see http://www.something-fishy.org/whatarethey/other.php.)
An eating disorder behavior is defined as a behavior one engages in that
may fit into one of the above eating disorder classifications or diagnoses.
Simply engaging in an eating disorder behavior does not mean you have
an eating disorder. However, doing so frequently, or when it interferes
with the quality of your life, may qualify as an eating disorder.
You don't have to be diagnosed with an eating disorder to benefit from
paying attention to eating disordered behaviors. We all have them occasionally.
After all, what matters in not the diagnosis, but living a happier, healthier
life. Identifying them, however, can help you understand what is really
bothering you. One way to do so, is to stop doing the behavior. Once you
stop, if even for a moment, you have the chance to feel the emotions or
physical sensations that are really bothering you.
It is like the "Whac-a-Mole" game. When a mole comes up, you
smack it with your stick. When you do, you get points.
We all know how the game at the carnival goes - You get points for bashing
moles. But with food, we get to make our own rules. Here's one way you
might play the game with your eating disorder behaviors.
When you notice yourself engaging in an eating disorder behavior or thought,
you earn points just for identifying it. You get further points for pausing
the behavior/thought and breathing into your body. Use your breath to
take you to the feeling of the behavior/thought. Be open to and allow
your feeling to be acknowledged. Major points accomplished! Keep breathing
and keep being aware. You continue to earn points. Stopping this process
any time and returning to the eating disorder behavior does not take away
points (Notice, there is no score in this game, just points.). In other
words, there is no criticism for stopping or having a difficult time.
More moles/behaviors will pop up all the time. You get to punch away whenever
you choose.
Continuing to criticize yourself for the eating disorder behavior will
actually continue that behavior. After all, the eating disorder is there
for a reason. Often, it is there to help you cope, to protect you from
something that appears much worse. Try to change your criticisms to observations
- without judgment. Think about observing a chair. You wouldn't judge
the chair, just notice its parts. Is it modern, soft, brown, striped,
wood, antique? Try the same with yourself, start by describing your toe
(or a part of your body that you don't criticize) to get the feel of it.
Below are some eating disorder behaviors that you might engage in. Begin
this game with those that are most familiar and identifiable to you. As
in any game, as you practice, you get better at it. Be cautious of attempting
to be perfect. Not only is that impossible, but perfectionism is one of
the thought patterns of those with an eating disorder.
Eating Disorder behaviors and thoughts:
• Bingeing
• Purging
• Comparing your body to others
• Comparing what you eat with what others are eating
• Keeping clothes in your closet that don't fit
• Eating when you aren't hungry (if done on a regular basis)
• Exercising too much
• Avoiding/resisting exercise
• Dressing to hide your body
• Negative self talk when thinking about your body or food or after
eating
• Obsessing about food, weight, exercise
• Paying more attention to your body, food, etc than your relationships
with yourself or others
• Chronic dieting or thinking about dieting
• Talking about being fat, eating too much, not exercising enough
• Thinking life will be better if you lose weight
• Perfectionist thinking
• Black and white thinking
These behaviors are the mole. Punch them out by paying attention to and
experiencing what is really bothering you. Practice right now. Close your
eyes and take a deep breath. Follow your breath into your body and notice,
observe what happens. Whatever is there, just keep breathing and keep
noticing. You may find yourself feeling uncomfortable. That is okay. Just
keep breathing. Do this for as long as you like. That's it. You are playing
the eating disorder whack-a-mole game. Now, practice it whenever you notice
a behavior or thought surface.
If you engage in a behavior that is not listed, please send me an email
to let me know what it is. As I put this newsletter article on my website,
I would like to include as many behaviors as possible so that others who
read it will be supported by your suggestions
1235 SE Division St, Suite 104
Portland, OR 97202 (503) 766-3399
Email Anne